Every parent has at one point or another had major resistance to personal grooming activities with their toddler. Whether it is bath time, washing hair or brushing their teeth, kids love to assert themselves and declare a hearty NO. In my case, my daughter would run through the house in circles to avoid any kind of hair care routine. These days things are much better, not just because I wrote her a book but because we’ve found a rhythm that makes the process fun. Today, I’m going to share a few concepts that have helped us. If you try them, please let me know if the comments.

Make it collaborative

My daughter and I have a great time working together on Wash Day. The first thing we do is choose our hairstyle – this is where the book’s visual hairstyle library comes in handy. At first, I would show her photos on my phone but that because a major distraction because she’d want to look at a million photos (some styles I didn’t have time for/ couldn’t do).

The hairstyles in Wash Day are simple and fast to accomplish without any special skills. That’s why it works so well. When she chooses a style, she’s involved in the process and she knows what to expect at the end. The style is the reward. It’s far better to have outcome driven rewards than physical rewards. That’s because eventually you have to make the rewards bigger and bigger until they are ultimately not attractive to the child. Self care is a skill we want to learn, not something we want to bribe them into.

Create a fun environment

When my daughter was little, I’d set up her favorite toys on the table and wash her hair at the dining table using bowls and a wash cloth. Now that she’s older, we wash at the sink but we still set up something fun to do during the shampoo, conditioning and detangling phases. These days we watch some of her favourite shows but. Let the child choose what they want. They’re having something “done to them” and that feels helpless so througout the process, give them as much control as possible. Here’s a little script:

“Today we’re going to wash our hair, what should we play with/ do while your hair is being washed? You can either play with ___ or ____”.

I’m a firm believer in choices. This reduces the selection of an “inappropriate activity” like painting or baking but still lets them feel in control.

Make it sensory fun

Choose products that feature your child’s favourite colors (we use a pink detangling cream), a purple spray bottle and a pink comb. Select products for their scent and make sure the child loves the smell. Let them smell it when they’re using it. Allow them play with the textures (in a controlled way). Give them a chance to massage the shampoo into their own scalp. These things get them familiar with the process,

Be a little silly

You can name the various tools and products you use. Cleo the comb, Misty the spray bottle. You can even make up a silly story about each of the objects. You can drop things and be goofy. Let them play! You can even let them do your hair a bit too. We love to mist each other with water!

Happy tummies are a must

The hair washing clock is SHORT and nothing zaps the amount of patience you’ll have than a hungry or thirsty child. Don’t start the process on an empty stomach and make sure you keep snacks and water in an accessible please so they can help themselves as needed.

Explain yourself

So often we jump into an activity without preparing our kids. Because we KNOW the process, it’s easy to forget how new/ confusing/ scary it might be for them. This is easy to overlook as your child transitions from “helpless infant” who patiently got their hair done to “opinionated toddler” who wants to know the how and why. Take your time to explain the process/ steps before getting started and refresh them on what to expect as you go. The Wash Day book helps with this since it walks through it all both visually and with words.

I hope these tips help you to have a more pleasant experience!